What’s The Big Deal?

I recently wrote a piece about Betsy DeVos and her plan for education which, if implemented, could be detrimental to countless special needs children in this country.  It sparked quite the debate on everything from Trump to charter schools to Muslims and the travel ban which, seriously,  why?  Whatever, I genuinely enjoyed the back and forth save for one isolated comment.  A genuinely well meaning parent of “normal”  children chimed in to ask, “If special needs children will receive all the services they require in the public schools what does it matter if they’re separated from their regularly developing peers?  What’s the big deal?”
I know some of you are screaming, “What??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” But be fair, it’s a fair question, especially coming from someone who doesn’t have a special needs child and whose “normal” children have had little to no contact with one.
Dear Well-meaning Parent Who Is Trying To Understand This Issue From All Sides and Was Verbally Slaughtered On My Facebook Page For Asking An Honest Question,
My apologies for the behavior of some of “club member” friends.  This is a sensitive issue for us and we easily forget that not everyone has to think the way we do and live the life we live.  I haven’t written a word since that post because I’ve been struggling with how to answer your question.  I know you honestly don’t understand our situation and would like to.  Your comment was taken out of context and completely misunderstood.  Plus there’s another side to the coin.  They don’t have the balls to say it but there are PLENTY of people out there thinking, “Look Rach, I’m sorry.  I know this sucks for you and Kevin but I have to do what’s right for MY family and Kevin is your problem, not mine.  Public school isn’t serving my kids and I can’t wait to put them in a charter school that WILL deny children like Kevin admission for lack of funding.  It’s not fair, I know, but life isn’t fair.  I may not have a Kevin but I have my own heaping portion of unfair over here thank you very much, so I won’t be feeling the slightest twinge of guilt over my decision any more than you would if you were in my place.”  
They think I don’t hear them, but I do.  Sometimes I actually hear them through my computer screen after I’ve posted something, all those words they don’t have the balls to type.  Sometimes human thought is so powerful, sound is not required for its magnification and  I hear every, single word.  
If they DID have the balls to say it this would be my response:  You’re wrong.  Kevin IS your problem.  He’s everyone’s problem, especially the parents of “normal children.”  Don’t believe me?  I figured.  No worries, I’ve written a play to help you understand.  
Kevin has spent his entire educational career with a group of girls everyone refers to as his “harem.” You all loved my penguin metaphor from last time so I decided to run with it and cast the harum in my play.  Obviously I can’t use their real names, their mothers would strangle me, so I’ve chosen names with meanings that suit their individual personalities.  This play was written to illustrate how being educated alongside a special needs child molds the thought processes and personality of a “normal” child.  


The Clearing
By:  Rachel Ulriksen
Characters
Adeen (little fire)
Sharfa (she who stands out from the rest)
Aquila (gifted with reason)
Andra (strong and courageous)
Leela:  (divine drama)
Grizelda:  (endless patience)
Kayla:  (wise child)
Act One
The curtain rises and we see about 40 penguins standing on a cliff above the 20,000 hungry sea lions they have to walk through to arrive at their breeding ground.
Adeen:  Are you fucking kidding me?
Leela:  Language?
Adeen:  Fuck you language are you seeing this shit?  I’m not walking through that.
Sharfa:  Yes you are.  We all are.  Didn’t you watch the documentary?  There’s a pack of hungry foxes about two miles behind us and THEY can see in the dark so we have to go, now, while there’s still light.
Adeen:  God damnit
Sharfa:  Look the boys made it through a month ago and I’ll rot in hell before I let them show us up.
Adeen:  Fair point.
Kayla:  Wait, we’ve gotta walk through 20,000 sea lions just to meet up with a bunch of boys?!
Andra:  Yeah that’s bullshit.
Leela:  Well now be fair.  They’re all over there building nests for us!
Andra:  To get laid moron.  Huge sacrifice on their part I’m so impressed.
Sharfa:   Look it’s fucked up I know but we don’t have any choice!  It’s stay here and get eaten or run through.
Adeen:  Fine but when we do get through you show me who made this bullshit documentary so I can peck them to death.
Andra:  We better move people.  If I have to mate  I’ll be damned if it’s with someone ugly.
Adeen:  Exactly.
Aquila:  Wait, wait can we please TALK about this.  How are we supposed to get across without dying, seriously!
Sharfa:  Am I the only one who watched the documentary?  I am aren’t I?  You people are useless.  Look, they’re big and strong but outside the water sea lions are slow, uncoordinated, and partially blind.
Adeen:  Awesome.
Sharfa:  Exactly.  All we have to do is spread out then dart back and forth really fast.  
Grizelda:  Guys?
Sharfa:  They can’t focus on anything moving too quickly,  we’ll confuse the shit out of them.  
Grizelda:  Guys!?
Sharfa:  We’ll make it through in no time we just have to work together.
Grizelda:  Guys!!!!!!!
Sharfa:    Fuck, Grizelda what?
Grizelda:  What about Kevin?
Kevin:  Me?


SILENCE


Kevin:  I come too?


SILENCE


Kevin (to Grizelda):  You crynin?
Sharfa:  No she’s not.  She’s not crynin there’s just something in her eye right?  Grizelda you’re NOT crynin.  Do you hear me you’re NOT.
Grizelda:  OK but…
Sharfa:  Nooooooooooo, no buts, everything is going to be fine.  We’re going to figure this out do you understand?
Grizelda:  Yes
Sharfa:  Great.  Kevin, the girls and I have to talk so you go stand on the cliff with Grizelda OK? There’s some pretty sea lions you can look at!
Kevin:  I gike sea nineons!!!
Grizelda:  I know me too let’s go look.
Adeen:  Try to drool on one of them Kev!
Leela:  Seriously?
Aquila:  What are we going to do?
Sharfa:  I don’t know.
Kayla:  I do.
Aquila:  Thank God.
Kayla:  You go,  I’ll stay behind with Kevin.
Andra:  But you’ll die.
Kayla:  I know.
Sharfa:  No.  That’s not an option.
Kayla:  Really?  Ok, well, First: who died and put you  in charge?  Second:  If you ARE in charge you have to do what’s right for the group.  You don’t stand a chance if Kevin comes. He can’t even hop for God’s sake.  He’s my brother not yours.  I’ll stay behind, we’ll die together and you guys will live.
Sharfa:  Hmm, let me think, NO.
Andra:  Fuck no
Kayla: No?  Really?  What other option is there?  You stay behind and we ALL die?
Adeen:  It would serve those boys right.
Kayla:  You’re insane.  Look, Kevin and I came into this world together and we’ll leave it together.  I’m ready. You guys have to get through, you have to live.
Sharfa:  We have to live?   Live what?  A full life knowing we left you two here alone to die.  You think I’m interested in that life?  You think any of us are?
SILENCE
Aquila:  I’m not.
Leela:  Me neither.
Sharfa:  Exactly.  We’re going through.  ALL of us, Kevin included.  We go together or we stay together, your choice, but we’re not leaving you here.
Adeen: Fuck yeah.  Boys suck.
Leela:  You need help.
Adeen:  YOU need help.
Sharfa:  Shut up both of you.  
Aquila:  But how are we gonna do this?  How do we get him through?
Sharfa:  We have to change our strategy is all.  Adeen, Constance, Kelly, and Annabelle:  You guys move faster than any of us.  Kayla will take Kevin’s hand and walk him through.  You surround them.  Confuse the shit out of those sea lions and clear a path for them. Kayla, you beat the shit out of anyone who comes near you.  Just move him as fast as you can.  Andra, you’ll take his other hand and and do the same.  Any sea lion that lunges for you, kick them in the face.
Andra:  Done.
Aquila:  Who stays in back?  That’s the worst spot to be.  If they miss Kevin they’re bound to snatch whoever is behind him.
Sharfa:  I will
Leela:  Me too.
Sharfa:  No you’re too small.
Leela:  Fuck you I’m too small I love him more than any of you.
Adeen:  Did she just say fuck?  She said it didn’t she?  Someone mark the date and time!
Leela:  Shut up.
Sharfa:  Enough!  Both of you I swear to God I”m going to leave YOU behind if you keep it up.
Leela:  I’m taking the back and so is Grizelda, she’d say so if she was here.
Sharfa:  Fine, the three of us will take the back it’s decided.
Kayla:  This is wrong.
Sharfa:  No it’s not wrong and you know it.  Some of us are going to die.  Grizelda, Leela, and I most likely but it’s the right thing to do.  
Aquila:  So some of us will make it to the clearing and some won’t?  How is that fair?  How do we live with THAT?
Sharfa:   We’re all going to make it through.
Aquila:  But you said…
Sharfa:  I know what I said but…. Just listen OK?  There are two clearings.  One we can see and one we can’t.  A better clearing.  They talk about it in PREP.  It’s a place where you go when…
Leela:  you’re willing to lay down your life for a friend.
Sharfa:  Exactly.
Aquila:  I remember that lesson.  There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for a friend.
Sharfa:  So we all make it through.  To the clearing we know or the clearing we don’t.
Andra:  What’s it like?
Sharfa:  There are no boys.  And you don’t have to lay any eggs unless you want to.  And sooner or later, everyone you love gets there.
Adeen:  Fuck it I’m taking the back.
Sharfa:  No you’re not.
Adeen:  Why?!
Sharfa:  Because you’re probably the only one fast enough and crazy enough to pull this off.  Kevin will never make it through without you and that’s all that matters….Kevin.  Kevin makes it through no matter what.  No matter what it takes, no matter how many of us fall, Kevin makes it through.
Kayla:  Why?
Sharfa:  Because he matters more than any of us.  You see that beach covered with monsters? Wanna know why they park there every spring?  Us.  The snacks.  Because every year just like clockwork we all run through and leave the slow ones behind.  They’re counting on it.  And why shouldn’t they when we deliver every year.  “Here you go!  Have bite of everyone we decided didn’t count.”
SILENCE
Leela:  Do you think that’s why there are monsters in the world?  Because we feed them?
Sharfa: I do.  I never thought about it until just now but yes.
Adeen:  OMG!  That’s the parable of the two sea lions.  I remember this!  There’s two sea lions inside us at constant war with each other and the one that wins is the one you feed your disabled friends to.
Leela:  I think we should feed you to the sea lions.
Adeen:  I think we should feed YOU to the sea lions.
Sharfa:  How about I feed you both a nice, big helping of SHUT UP!!!!!!! Listen, all of you, now.  You see that shit-storm down there.  It’s partly our fault.  They’re there because of all the people we’ve left behind over so many years of making this trip, but it stops today.  We’re not leaving anybody behind ever again and neither are the boys.  We’ll explain it to them when we get across.
Andra:  And they’re not getting laid unless they agree!
Sharfa:  Exactly.  And it won’t happen overnight.  It won’t happen for a long time, but if we keep thinking this way and doing what we’re about to do, there will be less and less for the monsters to eat and one day………one day far from today we’ll come out to this beach and the monsters will be gone.
Leela:  Because there was nothing for them to eat.


SILENCE


Aquila:  Our mothers are going to kill us.
Sharfa:  Yeah well fuck them as far as I’m concerned this is their fault.  They told us to take care of him and stick up for him no matter what.  
Andra:  And some of us are going to die?
Sharfa:  Probably.  We’ll do our best to get everyone through but, probably yes.
Aquila:  Do you think it will hurt?
Sharfa:  Dying?  No.
Aquila:  Really?
Sharfa:  I can’t make any promises, but no I don’t think it hurts.  Not if you die for the right reason.
Aquila:  And you’re not scared?
Sharfa:  Of course I’m scared but I’m more scared of living out the rest of my life remembering, every day, that I left him here.
Aquila:  Yeah.
Sharfa:   It’s OK to be scared.  The only one who isn’t scared is Adeen because she’s, uh..
Adeen:  Awesome.
Leela:  Keep telling yourself that.
Sharfa:  What matters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is we’re going anyway.  We’re all scared to death but we’re going anyway.  Courage isn’t being not afraid it’s being very afraid and doing the right thing anyway.
Aquila:  Well, I hate to be the voice of reason but we’re losing daylight so if we’re going we have to go now.
Sharfa:  Get Grizelda and Kevin.
Grizelda:  What are we going to…………
Sharfa:  Shut up.  We have a plan I’ll explain on the way down the cliff.
Kevin:  I comin?
Sharfa:  Yup, you’re coming buddy.  You’re gonna hold on tight to Kayla and Andra’s hands and run as fast as you can through those pretty sea lions OK?
Kevin:  OK
Sharfa:  Alright ladies flippers in!
FLIPPERS GO IN
Sharfa:  Repeat after me:  I will see you
All:  I will see you
Sharfa:  In this world or the next
All:  In this world or the next
Sharfa:  In a clearing for those
All:  In a clearing for those
Sharfa:  who are willing to lay down their lives for a friend.
All:  who are willing to lay down their lives for a friend.
Adeen:  Charge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don’t live here and  you’ve never met Kevin and the harem you’ll think I’m making this up, but I’m not.  If my Kevin and his “women” were penguins this is exactly what would happen.  They’d get him through to the clearing no matter what it took.  Every single one of them would die before they left him behind.  That’s not something you can “teach” and it’s certainly not something you can encourage.  It’s something that happens to a child when they are raised alongside another child who is helpless.  They become the girls who shoo away the one on one aide at lunch and feed that little boy with down syndrome themselves.   They become the boy who cheers for Kevin when he gets all his tinkle in the urinal and then helps him pull up his pants.  They become the girl who comes to the self contained classroom in high school with an offer to help Casey with sight words.  She’s got them all on a piece of poster board and just as Casey finishes reading, “Will you go prom with me?” he explodes into tears, wraps this girl in his arms and says, “Oh tank do!!!!!”  They become the boy who tells all the other boys to slow down at camp because Kevin’s falling too far behind.
“Normal”  children teach special needs children to be a little more “normal” but special needs children teach “normal” children to be anything but.  When raised beside a child who the general populace considers to be less, a “normal”  child becomes more.  They become what every parent hopes and fears their child will one day become:  a person who is willing to lay down their life for a friend.
That, my friend, is the big deal.